Free to be You - Individual, Couple and Trauma Counselling


The Shadow…Experiencing The Good, The Bad and The Ugly!


Feeling tired of trying to prove yourself?

Are there parts of you that you hide from yourself and others?

Do you feel unloveable, unworthy or just not good enough?

Have you ever felt that if onlyI could change this part of myself, than I would be okay?

           When we are born, we are born a ball of love – fully self expressed, connected, accepting and loving.  We do not make judgements about what parts of ourselves are good and what parts are bad.  As we grow older, we begin to learn from people around us in terms of how to act, what behaviours bring us acceptance and what brings us rejection.  We learn who and what to trust and what or who not to trust.  We learn what qualities are acceptable and what are not.  In essence, the shadow is created.

            We each have a shadow, it is the parts of ourselves that we have disowned, repressed and denied.  It contains the dark aspects of ourselves that we believe are not acceptable to our family, friends and to ourselves.  The shadow can wear many faces or masks such as being fearful, angry, jealous, greedy, selfish, addict, lazy, controlling, ugly, undeserving, cheap, critical, and judgemental are amongst many others.  Simplified the Shadow is the person you would rather not be.

            The dark side is stuffed deeply within our consciousness, hidden from ourselves and others.  The messages we get from this place is that “there is something wrong with me, I am not enough, okay, deserving, worthy or loveable.”  Many of us believe these messages and begin to fear these parts of ourselves.  Some of us are so disconnected from them that we can only see these parts reflected back to ourselves from the world, our family, friends, co-workers and sometimes strangers.  We then learn to beome great imposters who can fool ourselves and we become so good at this, we forget we are wearing masks that hide our authentic selves.

            As long as we keep hiding and wearing masks and project what is inside of us, we have no freedom to be who we are.  Instead of trying to get rid or suppress our shadow, we can learn to unconceal, accept and embrace the things we are most afraid of.  By facing these aspects of ourselves, we become free to experience our wholeness, the good, the bad, the ugly, the dark and the light.  Your life can be transformed when you make peace with your shadow.  The reason for doing the shadow work is to take down the walls and barriors we constructed, so we can become whole.  We will stop wearing our masks and hiding from the world and most importantly ourselves.  We will come home to who we truly are.

If you are wanting and willing to explore your shadow further than individual therapy with Tara, check out the Shadow weekend workshop information for upcoming dates it is offered.


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